Rant: The return of the Queen?
14 Apr 2005 by Paul Davies
This election is already set to be one of the most interesting in quite some time. The war backlash, some clever campaigning from some clever conservative Aussie... Boris'll be about somewhere too...But even so, it's still party politics, and, therefore, still very much like your average Daily Mail reader - a bit dull, quite confusing, largely pointless and utterly insufferable.
The antiquated first-past-the-past system of making voting pointless, combined with a host of anti-war and anti-Howard sentiment and the general 'Lib Dem-ness' of the Lib Dems leaves the whole government gallimaufry looking a bit vulnerable, especially now Parliament has been dissolved and the hallowed green benches sit empty, freed from the burden of John Prescott’s behind.
With this in mind, have you ever wondered what would happen if the Queen decided to sneak back in to power for one last hurrah? I have.
She's probably getting a bit bored after all. When was the last time you saw Her Majesty laughing? Smiling? Looking as though she gave a toss about anything? A spot of 16th century monarchical statesmanship could be just the thing to spark her back into life before the sparks go out altogether. Imagine the consequences: a sense of adventure that has remained suppressed for over 50 years suddenly set forth into the helm of modern politics. I wonder if even Prince Harry could keep up?
Trouble is, the suppression has probably gone too far, almost certainly in fact: Lizzie's get up and go has long got up and gone.
Prince Phillip on the other hand is in prime position... Through indulgence of his favourite pastimes of hunting, fishing and systematically insulting every single human being on the planet, Prince Phillip has kept the child inside him alive. Now is the perfect chance for him to emerge from his wife's rather maudlin shadow and take over, even if only until he gets bored and wanders off to hunt some Fathers4Justice protestors.
