News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Menzies Campbell
7th September
Backing Boris for comedy value

'Mayhem' as Boris Johnson fashion line debuts at BHS

Armed police have been forced to intervene at the Oxford Street launch of the latest celebrity fashion range, after Boris Johnson's 'Intensity' collection sparked scenes of near-riot among the 250,000 shoppers crammed into British Home Stores' flagship store.

A Met spokesman said order was only restored when the MP for Henley-on-Thames personally addressed the crowd with an emotional plea to "come on, chaps".

More than 30 fans of the politician were injured in the "mad scramble" once doors opened at 8.00 am Tuesday morning. Many had rushed to secure a limited edition set of ivory bicycle clips or a £150 tea-stained woollen jacket emblazoned with the logo 'My Humblest Apologies to the People of Liverpool'.

BHS owner Philip Green secured the Johnson deal in a major coup for the retailer. He was triumphant yesterday: "Boris has got the kind of scarcely describable sex appeal that will shift units by the cartload."

He faces competition from rival Matalan after the cut-price clothing store hit back with a celebrity deal of its own. Police reported no incidents, though, as 12 customers battled to snap up Tessa Jowell's new line of erotic swimwear.
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