News Satire Spoof Parody Humour Ann Widdecombe
2nd August
Updated from time to time

House of Lords to be reformed into apa for Cabinet ministers

Tony Blair announced plans today to reform the House of Lords. "The House of Lords is a hindrance to democracy, not a help," Mr Blair told CBBC. "I have worked hard to ensure that everyone in the House of Commons votes the way I tell them to, but the House of Lords is still there insisting on pointless debate and discussion and getting in the way of my plans."

He went on to detail the reformation of the House, which will involve removing all of the Hereditary Peers, Life Peers and Lords Spiritual along with all legislative and judiciary functions. "Then," he said, "we can create a new House which will help the legislative process flow more easily. Cabinet life is tough, stressful and tiring and that's a threat to democracy. So into this new house we will put a restaurant, spa and lounge for the hard working ministers of the Cabinet: a place for them to relax, get a massage and a good meal, so they will be refreshed and invigorated to deal with the rigours of public life."

Being for the use of Cabinet ministers only the Liberal Democrats have opposed the proposals on the grounds that they would never be able to use them, whilst David Cameron commented: "Wow, cool, brilliant, now we're really gonna try to win."

In the face of public criticism, Mr Cameron later pledged to ensure that the new spa would be entirely powered by wind.
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