News Satire Spoof Parody Humour Ann Widdecombe
1st September
Updated from time to time

Veil teaching assistant denies moonlighting

The teaching assistant at the centre of the Muslim veil row has strenuously denied allegations that she has been out shopping and working when she should have been at work in her school in Kirklees. Speaking from behind her veil, Miss Aishah Azmi said, "(Something something something) pack of lies (something something something)."

A recent Daily Express poll revealed that 98% of the newspaper's readers claim to have seen the 24-year-old teaching assistant at locations across the country during school hours, particularly in Blackburn, where she was spotted visiting local MP Jack Straw's surgery a number of times in a single day. Staff at Heathrow Airport also claimed that she had been seen boarding several different flights out of the country. One reader in Iran claimed that he had seen Miss Azmi all over the streets of Tehran.

Bosses at the Junior School where she works indicated that they had previously given her permission to be in different places at the same time provided it did not affect her ability to teach pupils. However, parents of pupils at the school have expressed concern that their children might not be able to hear her if she speaks to them from other countries.

Government ministers have indicated the need for a wider public debate on the teaching assistant's movements, with the Minister for Racial Harmony demanding her immediate sacking. Home Secretary John Reid gave an impromptu news conference from Miss Azmi's house, inviting Muslim parents to inform the authorities of her movements.
AddThis Feed Button AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Comment | Print | Send to a friend
DeadBrain Offbeat: Strange but true news
Satire on your mobile phone


DeadBrain... Search... Login...