Africa arrives in London after Madonna adoption
18 Oct 2006
The continent of Africa has arrived safely in London after being adopted by Madonna.Africa has had a troubled childhood following the death of its parents some years ago. For most of its life it was cared for by its father, Sir Bob Gandalf - save for a short period when he went to work on the Lord of the Rings films. During this time Tony Blair was responsible for babysitting, but he quickly lost interest and has had little involvement in the continent's upbringing since.
Although Gandalf's love for Africa is well known, there have been persistent accusations of foul and abusive behaviour, including suggestions that he has led a "rock star" lifestyle. On one occasion he is said to have threatened physical violence against a particular day of the week, which cannot be named for legal reasons, and charity workers have accused him of giving his other children – Peaches, Pineapple and Nectarine Gandalf – "stupid names".
In light of this evidence, adoption authorities decided that Madonna – a fellow singer who is famed for promoting moral values through her music videos – is eminently more famous. She has been awarded custody of Africa for an 18-month period, during which time she will be monitored closely by the paparazzi.
Tabloid newspaper editors in the UK have promised to focus their attention on Madonna rather than Africa out of sensitivity and "because she sells more papers".
