Six arrested on suspicion of "being frightening"
18 Sep 2006 by PlasticJesus
The names have been released of the six men who were detained yesterday under the 2005 Frightening Act. Jason Voorhies, Freddy Kruger, Michael Myers, Pennywise the Clown and Pin Head, all of whom have been frightening the globe in a campaign lasting since the 1980s, were arrested along with the cell's leader, Christopher Lee CBE, under suspicion of being very frightening."This has been a very successful operation, particularly in regards to the capture of Mr Lee - a frightener of more than fifty years' experience who we believe inspired many other characters to be frightening," said senior police officer Douglas Ramsbottom. "The evidence is conclusive; much of it we have on tape or actually DVD these days. We have reason to believe that this cell was plotting a major operation involving severe fright to attendees at this year's Horror Film Festival."
The arrests will come as a major boost to the popularity of Tony Blair, who has taken considerable criticism over his war on fright in the past few months. Opponents say that several million pounds and many innocent people have been sacrificed in a war against a potentially fictional enemy.
"The arrest of characters such as Pin Head and Pennywise the Clown prove unequivocally that this is a real war against a real enemy," Mr Blair said. "However, we must not be complacent as there are still many frightening characters on the loose."
Tory "leader" David Cameron, who was instrumental in the arrest of his predecessor Michael Howard under the Frightening Act, said: "This is little more than a publicity stunt by Mr Blair most of these characters are no longer frightening at all; many have in fact become quite comical."
It is suspected that Tony Blair will soon be offering his support to American plans to invade Japan, the country which President Bush has described as being "where all the really creepy stuff comes from".
Police have asked for anyone who comes into contact with the ghostly presence of Carol Smiley to dial 999 immediately.
