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Guantanamo to close, be replaced by Disneyland Cuba
The illegal American concentration camp at Guantanamo Bay is to close after several complaints from its residents. Occupants reportedly live in cramped cells in which they are force-fed disgusting food and subjected to terrible music - much like a Butlins holiday camp.
President Bush today announced the decision to close the controversial centre: "Disney are gonna go in and give the place a facelift. I wanna go on the slides! I wanna go, I wanna go!"
The detention camp will shut next Friday and re-open as the Havana branch of The Magic Kingdom in two years' time. Asked where the prisoners will stay until then Bush replied: "Well they'll sorta be in limbo. So no change there then."
When open the new Disney park will have roller coasters, go-karts and a new shooting range for Dick Cheney.
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Oi, down here!
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