Breaking News: Gordon Brown evicted from Number 11
Within the last hour police have been called to Downing Street to evict Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown from his official residence at number 11.
The surprise move is apparently the first salvo in Prime Minister Blair's newly-articulated "respect" policy to deal with so-called neighbours from Hell. Mr Brown will be banned from entering number 11 for three months.
Reporters were ordered to leave the street when police arrived as it was expected that Mr Brown would not leave willingly and there were fears for people's safety, but Douglas Ramsbottom, an aide to Mr Blair, told DeadBrain that the Chancellor left without a fuss. He was, however, heard to mutter "dinna ye worry, ye bugger, I'll be back and it will be you that's chucked oot."
Asked why Mr Blair had ordered such drastic action Mr Ramsbottom said, "The PM has finally had enough of that bloody bagpipe music being played until 3 in the morning every day, not to mention the nightly challenges from Mr Brown to 'come out and fight, ye chicken-livered pansy'."
He categorically denied that Mr Blair's order had been politically motivated.
David Cameron, the current interim leader of New Conservative, is expected to continue the trend he has established of adopting New Labour policy and order the eviction of the Shadow Chancellor.
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Oi, down here!