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Wind farm installed near Parliament solves British energy crisis
Scientists who set up a wind farm next to the Houses of Parliament were surprised to discover that the four wind turbines installed produce more than enough electricity to end the British energy crisis.
Greg Mullet, project manager, said: "Wind turbines are a very efficient method of generating electricity but are usually powered by cold air in most locations i.e. the wind. With the amount of hot air that passes over these particular turbines their spin rate and efficiency has increased by several million percent, thus solving the British energy crisis overnight. Unfortunately, when first switched on the turbines span so fast that they moved Britain south by about 496 metres, which means we will have to spend millions updating all of our GPS linked systems such as route finders. We have now overcome this problem by facing two turbines south and two north."
"The only remaining problem is that this increased efficiency mysteriously disappears at certain times of the year - coincidentally, when the House of Commons is in recess. We are currently negotiating a deal with France to export our excess electricity to them, in return for cheaper electricity from them when our turbines are off-line."
Professor Douglas Ramsbottom, an energy expert based at Bootle University, said: "This is excellent news and means we don't have to go through all the old arguments over going nuclear. We have also done some research of our own and hope to set up another electricity generation project next to this wind farm."
"However, this project will be based on new technologies that allow farmers to turn animal waste into useful energy, as we have been assured there is an unending supply of bullshit in the same area."
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Look at this, moron.
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