Patent office confirms first British invention for 23 years
The British Patent Office yesterday confirmed that a Briton has invented something, the first British invention for 23 years, which it's inventor believes could make the laptop computer redundant within a matter of years.
Mr Rab Mullet of Glasgow, said: "The idea just came to me one day on the train to Glasgow. When my train suddenly braked hard I head-butted my laptop computer, spilt my tea, and got a load of papers stuck to my forehead. After I had been treated for severe scalding, I thought - why carry around a heavy laptop when I could use 'Post-Head-Notes', which are not heavy and do not require any power."
The unique 'Post-head-Note' attachment system, also invented by Mullet, fires two-inch carpet staples into the users forehead at a speed of 80 miles an hour thus ensuring the 'Post-head-Notes' are firmly attached. Even users of business or home computers who want to carry around files, can now simply print them off and turn them into 'Post-Head-Notes'.
Professor Douglas Ramsbottom, a Patent Office scientist, said: "This invention alone justifies the British Patent Office and the hundreds of staff that have sat around for over 20 years awaiting such a discovery. We have searched Patent Offices all around the world, and it would appear that nobody has submitted this wonderful idea before. Who says British manufacturing cannot compete into the future?"
Asked if 'Post-head-Notes' got in the way whilst the user was driving, Mullet responded: "Och No! The system also comes with a unique head attachment, similar to a hat, which the 'Post-Head-Notes' fit under when people are driving, shopping, or generally just want to see where they are going."
Mullet expects the system to retail at around £200 and be available in shops in time for Christmas 2010.
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Look at this, moron.