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Car crime statistics stolen from minister's car
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Record number of people 'forget who Pete Doherty is'
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PopeWatch: Tributes pour in

2 Apr 2005

"I met Pope once, and he was a great guy. Spoke kinda funny, but I guess that was down to his age. He must have been at least a hundred, he sure looked it. It's really sad that all three of them – Pope, John and Paul – died on the same day. Shame I'm not going to get to meet the other two now." – George W Bush

"Yes!" – Douglas Ramsbottom, black tie manufacturer

"This is not an occasion for soundbites – we can save them for the funeral, which of course I expect to take a key role in - but I think, in many ways, he was very much the people's Pope, although in some respects he was of course the Catholic people's Pope, but in today's Britain we should not hold that against him." – Tony Blair

"How dare you make derogatory accusations about my religion?" – Michael Howard

"Leaving aside religion, we had a lot in common, the Pope and I, especially on the subject of women. If it hadn't been for religion we could have been great friends, but as it was he was an infidel. Death to the infidels! I'm probably too late there." - Osama bin Laden

"I...er...cripes...er...what a loss...er..." – Boris Johnson

"The Pope was an inspiration to me, ever since I moved to Spain. It's always been important to me that I had someone as inspirational as him to look up to in the same country. We didn't see each other often because he didn't go to many parties, but I'm going to miss him a lot." – David Beckham

"I'm an atheist, I couldn't care less." – Brenda Shuttleworth

"Always sounded a bit pissed as me. I reckon he had a hipflask hidden away underneath those robes. That's what I'd do if I was Pope." – Billy Connolly

"Nice guy, but he needed a makeover." – Trinny and Susannah

"Beloved...momentous...sad occasion...terrible loss...towering figure...sorry, what? I was just practising." – David Dimbleby

"Bloody person. Hold on, was that microphone on? Blast. Awful, truly awful. Terrible day, in fact. Awful." – Prince Charles

"At bloody last." – anonymous reporter, Rome

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