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| You are misplaced along with: Home > News | 19th March |
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 Dubya's Letters: Let freedom rain!5 Feb 2005 by Malcolm Drury
The White House5 Febuerry 2005 Dear Mom and Dad: Sorry I haven't ritten before now, I've been reel busy, anyway I just wanted to say thanks for coming to the innorgeration, sorry I didn't get to talk to you after it but I had to circleate and talk to peeple, hope you managed to find your way back to the airport OK, I woulda drove you but I couldn't get away, hope you unnerstand. Like I say I've been busy doing president stuff like getting ready for the state a the union speech, and I had a bit of trouble on Air Force One, they shoulda labelled that button properly, like say ejeckt seat, not just ejeckt, how was I supposed to know, I figgered it was for ejeckting a see dee. Sheesh, it was a good thing we was only taxxying on the runway at the time. Now I'm not aloud to sit in the front any more. Anyway the pilot landed in a snow bank so he's OK and the plain was only a bit dammidged when it hit the fire truck, we managed to get the repairs done secritly at night when nobody was looking, well except for some of the security guys and they all know where Gwumnatamo Bay is if you take my meaning so I know they'll keep quiet. We hid what was left of the fire truck in Air Force One, we'll dump it over the oshun next time I go to Yoorup or Canadia or somewhere, I think we got away with it. Boy, can you beleeve Kerry, he just won't shut his yap, now he's been hinting he might take a run at the White House in 2008. Yeah, right, dream on bub, it's ours now and we're gonna keep it in the family, I figger if I can't find a way to stay on we'll get two terms for Jeb and then the twins should be ready to take over, they could take it in turns. If they can get out of bed before 2 in the p of m that is. Did you catch my state a the union speech? I didn't even bother trying to rite it myself this year, they never let me use my own speeches, even though they're always a lot better, but I thought it was still pretty good. When I first saw it I said I want to say we're gonna take out Iranistan but Donny said better not say that yet, we're not quite ready, just say it's an outpost of tyranny. But then Condi said no, them's my words, get your own Rumsfeld and they started arguing again and they ended up ressling on the carpet and Donny was trying to bite peeple's legs like he does when he's reel mad so I said well I'll just say Iranistan is the primerry sponser of terrorism. Boy, them two are like a cat and a dog. Condi can ressle reel good, pity she wasn't wearing her Catwoman suit. Anyway I think the speech went well. I nearly got mixed up a coupla times, somebody had put stuff like remember not to pick your nose and don't slouch in it and I nearly read them out loud. I gotta say Dad, I wondered if you had told somebody to put that stuff in, your always saying it to me. And some of the guys in the front row kept putting me off, they kept laffing and I hadn't even told a joke, turns out they had a competition going to gess how many times I would say freedom and liberty, see who could come closest. Seems Gonzales won, maybe I shouldn'ta picked him after all. Anyway I just said to them well if it's freedom from your teeth and your jobs your looking for your going the right way about getting it, I think they unnerstood. I gess you probbly saw on Fox that Condi has been in the U of K talking to Terry Blair and some of his guys. I wanted to go with her but Laura wouldn't let me, she said yeah right, like I'm reelly gonna let you go off with that Rice woman and probbly see that Blair woman while your there, I've seen how you look at both of them, do you think I'm stupid. I wasn't thinking straight, being so dissapointed so I said yeah, then when I got my senses back I said I mean no, but it was too late, she just said well you keep going on about freedom so you can have your freedom, from now on you can sleep in the oval offiss, let freedom rain. I sent the security guys to Wal-Mart for the usual bunch of flowers and box of choclits, but if they don't work would it be OK if I came home for a while, the floor in the oval offiss is reel uncomfortable. Yours sinseerly, Your son George (President, US of A, second term) P.S. Thanks for the tip on how to get jam stains out of my tie Mom only I think I used too much of it, now the tie has a big hole in it. Related Articles Dubya's Letters: A shining hill, a hundred points of light 22 Jan 2005
Dubya's Letters: Thanks for the socks but please don't embarrass me15 Jan 2005
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