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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Tony Blair |
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| You are passing rapidly through: Home > News | 7th September |
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 B-Man to go to Iraq to look for Saddam's WMDs13 Jan 2004 by Malcolm Drury
Downing Street is reported to be in panic mode following yesterday's admission by American intelligence officials that the US has stopped looking for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq or for a reason for invading the country. That is a severe blow to the credibility of President "Boy" George W. Bush and his assistant, Prime Minister Tony Blair, who used the alleged WMDs as a pretext for "liberating" Iraq and replacing the military regime of its failed dictator, Saddam Hussein™ with an American one.Although both leaders have, in recent months, alluded to the fact that WMDs might not be found in Iraq, neither has categorically stated that they accepted that Saddam did not actually have them. Mr Blair in particular is understood to maintain his conviction that Saddam did indeed have the weapons. With his re-election safely concluded, however, the issue has essentially evaporated for Mr Bush. Not so for Mr Blair, who faces not just a general election but an ongoing challenge to his leadership from Chancellor Gordon Brown. As a result, DeadBrain has learned, Mr Blair has asked the mysterious B-Man to travel to Iraq immediately and by means of his super powers, find the weapons of mass destruction that the PM still believes are in the country, other than those of the US occupation force and other members of the coalition it controls. B-Man, readers will recall, is the enigmatic caped crusader who first appeared in London last July pledging to fight crime personally. Douglas Ramsbottom, a Downing Street spokesman, denied that the Prime Minister was panicking. He said that while the PM was sure that the Americans had had a jolly good look for WMDs in Iraq, Mr Blair has never been known to be wrong about anything, except appointing Gordon Brown, Clare Short and Robin Cook to Cabinet, and he just wanted to be able to believe, in every fibre of his body, that they are truly not to be found. Mr Blair is known to have immense confidence in the super-human abilities of B-Man Asked if David, the Boy Wonder, will be accompanying B-Man in the mission, Mr Ramsbottom said that he believed not, as the Boy Wonder is still on leave tending his garden and trying to sort out a few personal problems. He noted that while B-Man was out of the country Mr Blair would be lying low at Chequers, so as not to be seen to be unduly influencing B-Man, and would therefore not be in the public eye. He denied that the real reason for this was to avoid embarrassment and being called names by the Opposition. Related Articles US gives up on search to find reason for invading Iraq 12 Jan 2005
Lord Hutton to withdraw report, apologise to BBC12 Oct 2004
US to invade Greenland to remove threat from lack of WMD7 Oct 2004
Hutton to inquire into failure of inquiry into Hutton Inquiry leak11 Aug 2004
Blair: Media misrepresented Iraq intelligence, not us22 Jul 2004
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