 |
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Ann Widdecombe |
|
 |
|
| You are drifting somewhere near: Home > News | 7th October |
| |
|
Dubya's Christmas Message: Herbie and Aubrey25 Dec 2004 by Malcolm Drury
Dear World:Well as you probbly all know I've been named Person of the Year by Time maggerzeen, that's the second time, in your face Sheerac, so I figgered I should greet all you ordinerry peeple around the world just so you know I'm reelly just a regular guy even if I am the smartest guy in the US of A and probbly the world. Except you Sheerac, if your reading this just remember we got lots of troops in the U of K and they could be over that Channel Bridge and libberate France and be back by bedtime, so if you don't want a room at our Gamtwmanano Bay Retirement Resort you'd better stop crittisizing everything I do. Ackcherly, while I think of it, same goes to Coffee Annan and anybody else at the U of N who gets in our way. Anyway, to get on track, Donny told me that the Pope guy sends a Chrismass messidge out each year, stands on a balconny it seems and says it in a zillyan different langwidges, so I figgered I should do the same. Except I'm sitting at my desk, it's reel cold outside, and I'm only gonna say it in American. He's a reel nice guy, the Pope, I met him last Joon, but he's reel old and he didn't look too healthy, he was going on at me about Iraq but I figgered I'd just let him, didn't want him to croak, wouldn't look good. I asked Donny who he sends his messidge to and he said Herbie and Aubrey ["urbi et orbi" - Ed.]. Sheesh, that doesn't make any sens, who are Herbie and Aubrey, and why does he only send a messidge to them, don't know any world leaders by those names and anyway if he's gonna send a messidge to anybody it should be to me and Laura, and maybe Terry Blair and Sherry. That way he would only need to say it in American, give him a chance to get off that balconny sooner. Anyway, to get back on track, Chrismass is a time of peace and goodwill and here in the US of A we're dettermined to bring peace, goodwill and good old US of A democrassy to the whole world, and we got the weppons to do it, so just remember that, espeshally you, Iranistan, and I already menshuned France. I just had to go anser the phone, it was only Donny in some flap again, and Laura has been reading this and she says it sounds too bellijerant. I said what do you mean, there's no such word as bellijerant. She said yes there is so I said well what does it mean then and she said just look it up in the dickshanerry. So I tried just to prove it to her and sure enough it wasn't in, boy, sometimes it's reelly embbarresing being so much smarter than her. Anyway I said I'm president and Person of the Year, not you, I'll rite what I like but not your make beleeve words. She said something, didn't quite catch it, sounded like better than your make beleeve world but that doesn't make any sens, boy, sometimes she's reel wierd. Anyway, to get back on track again, me and Donny and Cheney and Condi and the rest of the guys just want to say Merry Chrismass and a happy new year world, except to Sheerac and Coffee Ananan. Oh and that Iranistan guy, sorry, can't remember your name, but it doesn't mattter, we already got the missles pointing at you so I'd stop developing nucular weppons if I was you. Sined George W. Bush, President, US of A and Person of the Year (again) P.S. Sherry B, please phone me on that secrit number I gave you last year, but don't tell Terry. Or Laura. Another P.S. I made a Chrismass card for everybody. 
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2001-2008 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sheep |