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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Menzies Campbell |
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| You have landed on top of: Home > News | 7th September |
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 Prince Charles in Crisps for Snobs row19 Nov 2004 by Malcolm Drury
Prince Charles is once again the centre of a royal row, this time over a letter he wrote about a new line of potato crisps.It began when crisp-maker Jonathan Crisp began marketing Crisps for Snobs, a new line of the popular snack in a variety of unconventional flavours. The first one, Horseradish and Sour Cream, was described by the company as "blue-blooded" and "bracingly British", and featured what appeared to be a caricature of Princess Anne on the packet. This was followed by several other new flavours, each one in a packet bearing a caricature of what some people have interpreted as members of the Royal Family. Among the new flavours are Sauerkraut and Pork, whose packet bears a drawing of an elderly lady wearing a spiked Prussian World War One helmet; Feta Cheese and Oregano, in a packet with a drawing of an elderly man wearing a wreath of olive branches and holding up two fingers in a V-formation; and Unflavoured Tofu, a speciality crisp made from organically-grown turnips, rather than potatoes, whose packet has a drawing of a person with rather large ears and apparently talking to a weeping fig. Brenda Shuttleworth, PR Director for the Jonathan Crisp company, claims that any resemblance to royals living, dead, or in any undetermined state, is purely coincidental. According to Clarence House insiders, Prince Charles was clearly not convinced by Ms Shuttleworth's claim. Douglas Ramsbottom, Third Assistant Gentleman Squeezer of the Royal Toothpaste Tube, told our reporter that the Prince was "absolutely livid" and had sent a handwritten note to the crisp company. Through means that it is not at liberty to divulge, DeadBrain has obtained a copy. In it the Prince asks, "What is wrong with everybody nowadays? What is it that makes everyone seem to think they are qualified to do things far beyond their technical capabilities? These bloody crisps taste foul and the so-called caricatures look like they were drawn by some graduate of the child-centred so-called education system that admits no failure and tells people they can make great crisps and crisp packets without putting in the necessary effort or having the natural abilities". Education Secretary Charles Clarke later accused the Prince of being old-fashioned and out of time and of not understanding what is going on in the British education system at the moment. Mr Clarke added that he thought the crisps were excellent. "Especially the Secret Herb flavour ones," he said, "those in the packet with a drawing of what appears to be the younger Windsor lad." Prince Charles was not available for comment. Explanatory note for North American readersCrisps are chips, whereas chips are fries. Both are fried. Chips (fries) can sometimes be crisp if they are fried for longer than usual, whereas chips (crisps) are always crisp, unless the packet has been left open too long, in which case they can go soggy. Chips (fries) can also be soggy if not fried for long enough. And we say to - mah - toe.Related Articles Prince Harry Potter denies allegations of cheating in A-level magic 10 Oct 2004
Metropolitan Police seek B-Man and Boy Wonder to assist with bogus BatmanBREAKING NEWS | 13 Sep 2004
Royal Family to publish own newspaper18 June 2004
Daily Mirror denies involvement in latest palace intrusion18 May 2004
Prince Philip arrested after attempting to shoot artist30 May 2004
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