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Boris Johnson sacked for failing to properly declare affair
17 Nov 2004 by RussusFormer Tory frontbencher Boris Johnson was sacked from his position as minister for arts for failing to correctly declare an affair, Tory insiders have revealed.
In sacking Mr Johnson, party leader Michael Howard cited party regulations which say "All affairs, flings and elevator gropes with or involving women, men, boys, animals or even members of the opposition must be declared in writing by April 30th of each year."
The MP for Henley appealed to the party saying that his private life should have no influence on his political activities, but Mr Howard was unsympathetic. "Extra-Marital Activity Certificates are available all year round and are situated right next to the travel expense forms in Tory HQ," he said. "There really was no excuse."
Mr Johnson said that the near collapse of his marriage has taught him a valuable lesson, and that next time he will disguise his affairs more openly within the Conservative Party.
He recently embarrassed the party by saying that Liverpudlians were "wallowing in their victim status". Colleagues deny that they then used previously held "dirt" to distance Johnson from the party core. A party spokesman made the issue clear: "Mr Johnson did not believe he should resign over the issue, Michael Howard disagreed and sacked him."
Friends say that despite being sacked from the front bench, his career is by no means over. "Whether he continues his mirthsome gaffs and clown tumbles from the backbenches or as editor of some right-leaning rag, the party's favourite floppy haired jester will always be around to entertain," assured Tory MP Nicholas Soames.
Others have paid tribute to his political career. "Boris was a nib of sweetcorn in the floating turd that is the Conservative Party," said DeadBrain's political editor, Douglas Ramsbottom, fresh from a less than successful Andrew Marr training course. "He brought colour, variety and a natural curiosity to an otherwise dull and somewhat repellent party."
"He will be sorely missed from the front benches," he added, waving his hands for no apparent reason.
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