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Comical Ali implicated in Allawi speech
24 Sep 2004 by Malcolm DruryMohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, also known as "Comical Ali", the former PR man for failed dictator Saddam Hussein™ is thought to be the author of a speech given yesterday by Iraqi "Prime Minister" Iyad Allawi. Mr. Allawi, who was installed as "prime minister" by the US occupation force, said that the war in Iraq is "going brilliantly", that elections will be held on schedule in January 2005, that the insurgents will be utterly routed before the end of the month, that the people of Iraq are very happy that US troops are in their country, and that George Bush is the best president America has ever had. The "prime minister" gave his speech while sitting on the knee of an unidentified man who drank continuously from a glass of water.
"Prime Minister" Allawi was accompanied by a beaming George Bush, who was seen to mouth "in your face Kerry" as his guest urged everyone to vote for "Iraq's best friend and the defender of the world, George W. Bush, his name be praised." He ended by saying that he was looking forward to a gottle of geer, a ganana, and some gread and gutter and rotating his head in a complete circle.
Douglas Ramsbottom, Professor of Journalism at the University of Bootle, told our reporter that the speech bore every indication that "Comical Ali" was the author. Mr. al-Sahaf became an instant media celebrity during the US-led liberation of Iraq's oil for his insistence to television reporters that the Americans were being repelled even as they could be seen blowing things up in the background. His skills were considered so highly honed that after a brief, token spell in prison he was hired by the Pentagon to become their chief spin doctor, as DeadBrain exclusively reported. It is believed that he has also written speeches for Mr. Bush, particularly those in which the president claims that the American economy is in excellent shape.
"Prime Minister" Allawi was not available to answer reporters' questions after his speech. The man upon whose knee he had been sitting said that he had gone for a rest in his box. He refused to elaborate.
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