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|You smell better than: Home > News||26th May|
Mirror newspaper "could be fake"
3 May 2004Allegations that the Mirror is a newspaper were last night thrown into doubt following an analysis of its content. Earlier this week the alleged newspaper published photographs allegedly showing allegedly British soldiers allegedly urinating on an alleged Iraqi prisoner, prompting claims that it was a serious newspaper with serious stories. However, because the photographs were printed along with tens of pages of "celebrity-related drivel" and an offer for a "genuine, one of a kind" free model golf cart for every reader, doubts began to emerge about its status.
"Newspapers, in the traditional sense, give a reasonably detailed and accurate overview of important world events, but on a normal day if you only read the Mirror you would struggle to find out what's going on beyond the gates of Beckingham Palace," said Professor Douglas Ramsbottom, an authority on the tabloid press. "In fact, considering its track record, you would often struggle to find out what's really going on inside, as well."
Professor Ramsbottom suggests that the issue containing the alleged photographs of alleged abuse was in fact a fake, put about by enemies of the publication to discredit it. "If this is the case then the consequences for the British army, and more importantly the Mirror's thousands of celebrity-obsessed readers, could be very serious indeed," he added. "The Mirror is one of the most serious insults around in the Arab world."
However, the alleged newspaper's editor, Piers Morgan, is unrepentant. "The content of my organ is common knowledge among disgusted British servicemen," he said. "As General Sir Michael Whacko Jacko made clear to me on my new television programme before he was arrested, there is no place for this in the British army."
Tony Blair is said to be "completely and totally unacceptable".
Mirror photo "a mish mash of arse pixels", possibly fake
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