Expert: "Ludicrous" that Beckham used long words in statement
5 Apr 2004
Experts today rejected as "ludicrous" allegations that David Beckham used words of more than two syllables in denying that he was having an affair. The England footballer allegedly released a statement following an alleged story published in the alleged newspaper the News of the Alleged World yesterday, but suspicions were raised when the statement was found to contain words such as "ludicrous", "accustomed" and "erroneous".
"Quite frankly, I don't believe this statement came from David Beckham," said Professor Douglas Ramssmüllet, an expert in footballers' parlance. "No doubt he gave it his best shot, but on the day I don't think he was up to the job and he's obviously had some help with it."
Greg Mullet, an international handwriting expert, agreed with Mr Ramssmüllet. "A basic analysis of the writing in the statement shows that it is copperplate, written using a high-quality fountain pen," he said. "This does not match with the sample I have of Mr Beckham's handwriting, which was not joined up, had some of the letters backwards and was written in orange wax crayon."
Mr Beckham is now said to be considering legal action, though he is unsure what for or what that would entail.
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