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Calls for referendum on referendum on EU constitution
26 Mar 2004A row is growing tonight over new proposals for a referendum on the proposed referendum on a European constitution. Sources in the Prime Minister's office have told DeadBrain that he is considering a plan developed by his deputy, John Prescott, whereby the electorate will have a referendum on whether to have a referendum on the constitution, thus solving the current disagreements between Labour, the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats.
Mr Prescott - who developed the plan while he was "minding the country" during Tony Blair's urgent mission to sell arms to former mad dog, terrorist-backer and general loony Colonel Gaddafi – is said to see it as the ideal democratic solution to a problem that is set to dominate the forthcoming European Parliament elections, but others remain to be convinced.
The deputy interim Conservative leader, Michael Ancram - who was filling in for Michael Howard during his urgent visit to sell himself to Rupert Murdoch – claimed that Mr Prescott's alleged proposals did not go far enough. "Who is John Prescott to say whether or not we should have a referendum on a referendum on a constitution that will have serious consequences for this country?" he asked, answering after a deep breath: "The truly democratic solution would be to have a referendum on whether to have a referendum on the referendum that should be held on the proposed constitution. That's the only sensible option, I think that's plain for everyone to see."
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the deputy Liberal Democrat leader, Menzies Campbell – who was filling in for Charles Kennedy while he recorded an advertisement trying to sell alca-seltzer – immediately denounced the Conservatives' counter-proposals, suggesting instead that there should be a fourth referendum, which would be held at the same time as the other three in order to save money.
A spokesman for Mr Blair said that he was lying down after "a strenuous few days" and would "fully consider" any proposals by Mr Prescott and the other deputies at a later date.
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