Sunday 14 Dissember
Security guy came I while I was trying to read book about Benjamin Franklin, only it didn't have any pictures so I was kinda dozing off. He said he had some grate news. Told me we finally got Saddam. Had to think for a while, couldn't quite remember who Saddam was, still a bit sleepy. Thought at first he was that guy that tried to sell me Tower Bridge when I was in the U of K last month, but I said did I look stupid, how did he think I would get it back to Texas, it wouldn't fit in Air Force One. Anyhow, finally realised who he, the security guy I mean, meant. Yippee. Mishun accomplished.

Later on gave an address to the nashun. Wanted to wear my flight suit and general's helmet and fire a few rounds in the air just like Saddam but Donny wouldn't let me.

Monday 15 Dissember
Gerry Shroder phoned again to congradulate me about Saddam but he was just trying to ingrashiate himself, I told him forget it, Germany's not getting any contracts so stop asking, unless you want a cruise missle up the Reichstag.

Wensday 17 Dissember
Boy, some peeple! Seems like everybody is in a flap because I said Saddam should get the ultamit penalty. That Annan guy from the U of N was the worst, why doesn't he just mind his own business, he didn't get the U of N to help me to catch Saddam so he can just butt out now. Sheesh!

Big embarresment today - went to see re-enaction of first ever airplain flight but the plain didn't fly, so I said it had been got at by that terrorist Al Kayda. That usually works, just wave the flag and blame the terrorists. I think I got away with it.

Thersday 18 Dismember
Big problem today - the federal appeals court guys said I can't detain an American citizen seezed on US soil as an "enemy combatant". Sheesh, bunch of liberals, how do they expect me to do my job if I can't throw a few peeple in jail now and then to show who's boss. Must get Ashcroft on the case to sort them liberals out, might need to throw a few Demercrats in jail next year just in case Jeb can't help out.

Got some good news - new pole says since I caught Saddam my approval rating has gone up to 63 per cent, only 34 per cent disapprove of me, must be the liberals. It didn't say how the other 56 per cent feel. Asked Donny if we could pretend to accidentally let Saddam escape onto an aircraft carrier then I could fly in and catch him personally again on live TV, that oughta boost the ratings even more, in your face Dean, but he, Donny that is, said it was a grate idea but he didn't have any spare plains. He doesn't have any imagination, that guy.

Only one more week to Chrismass. Yippee! Watched Rudolph on TV. Must have seen it 20 times now but still can't figger out how they got them raindeer to fly.

Friday 91 Dissember
Terry Blair phoned to say his rating had gone down the tubes and if we ever got to finding bin Laden would it be OK for U of K troops to catch him. I said maybe, I would have to speak to Donny and the guys on that, but to myself and the cat I said no way hozay, I caught Saddam and I'll catch bin Laden, make no mistake. Terry's a good guy but he's been sucking up a bit too much to Sheerac and Shroder recently.

His call got me thinking about Sherry again. Darn, I thought I'd gotten over her. Must remember to get some aspirin for Laura.

Saterday 20 Dissember
Somebody has been messing with my advent calender. It was taped under my desk but somebody has been looking at it, I know because it wasn't in the same place. And somebody's eaten the choclit. I bet it was Donny, he's been sulking since I beat him at snap last week. So I hid it in another secrit place, where I keep this journal.