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  The Royals
Newspaper lets cat out of bag over Charles allegations
An alleged newspaper today let the alleged cat out of the undisputed bag containing the truth about unspecified allegations against the alleged Prince Charles. In a dramatic turn of events, the Sunday Mirror published unspecified denials of specific allegations, with the helpful result that the public is still none the wiser.

Royal watchers immediately denied the central allegation. "There is absolutely no truth in the allegation that the Sunday Mirror is a newspaper," said an antiques dealer with close links to Paul Burrell. "Yes, it's printed on newspaper on a regular basis, but it doesn't actually contain any news it's all celebrity gossip and photos of semi-naked women in suggestive poses. Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind."

A spokesman for the Sunday Mirror said that he was absolutely certain that he was working for a newspaper as he had just got a job with the Guardian and was to leave immediately.

The alleged cat was unavailable for comment, but the president of The Verve Fan Club told DeadBrain that it was probably still in a bag and waiting to drown. The RSPCA has said that it is concerned.

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