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Holyrood building loses world overspend record
10 Sep 2003 by Flash Gorman
There was an anguished wailing of bagpipes over the Glens this morning as it was announced that the Scottish Parliament building at Holyrood has lost the coveted Budget Overspend world record.
The Holyrood building stormed into the record books last week at a whopping ten times its original £40 million budget and there were high hopes that it would occupy the top spot for some considerable time. The whole episode was seen as something of a coup for the Scottish parliament as it was one of the few times that it had ever been noticed by the mainstream press - despite much selfless publicity by teenage heartthrob Sean Connery.
Unfortunately, the building was knocked off its perch today by an invoice from "Honest Doug Ramsbottom's Garage" in Essex. They had quoted a not unreasonable £30 to make some minor MOT repairs to a customer's Ford Granada. The aforementioned customer was therefore somewhat surprised on collecting his car to be presented with a bill for £1.2 million plus VAT.
We visited Mr Ramsbottom for an explanation and were treated to a vintage display of mechanical bullshit. "Yeah, well it was going alright until we found the thrunge grommet had gone," said Mr Ramsbottom, waving a foot in the vague direction of the car's engine. "Trouble is, they are made of Unobtanium - which is very hard to find. We've had to sponsor an expedition to the Himalayas to try and find some, which has pushed the price up a bit."
Despite losing its title, the Holyrood building is still in with a shout at several other prestigious records, including the "pointless buildings costing more than half a billion pounds record" (current holder: the Millennium Dome) and the "Clive Sinclair award for engineering excellence" (current holder: the Millennium Bridge).
Hey, look at this!
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