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Boy, 13, glues tractor to face
6 Aug 2003
A thirteen-year-old boy is recovering at home after accidentally gluing a tractor to his face. Sam Hastings, the unfortunate teenager in question, was out celebrating his birthday this morning in his hometown of Bradford on Avon when the accident happened.
According to an eyewitness, his friend Douglas Ramsbottom, Sam had been walking innocently down the main street in Bradford on Avon after having a celebratory lemonade when "a gang of elderly youths dressed in army camouflage gear" approached the pair and attacked them with superglue using a pump-action canister. The force of the attack threw Sam backwards towards the road and into a tractor being driven past. Apparently his face immediately became stuck to the tractor and he was carried for several miles with his friend running after him until the tractor reached its owner's farm. The farmer then noticed Sam's predicament and called for help.
Douglas also stressed that in no way had they been drinking whiskey stolen from his grandfather or sniffing glue at the farm, adding that the plastic bag full of Bostick found in his possession had been "planted".
The farmer who discovered Sam glued to his tractor told DeadBrain the incident looked serious. "This to me looked like a very serious incident," he said. "I mean the boy had a tractor glued to his face. You can't get more serious than that. It's no laughing matter."
Doctors were able to remove the tractor from Sam's face after a few hours' wait at the local casualty department, where it is understood the tractor caused chaos in the already overcrowded waiting room.
Professor Gregory T Mullet, a world-renowned expert in boys with tractors glued to their faces and a police adviser on the same issue, said that the problem is a long-standing one. "Records show that as far back as the Middle Ages young boys were getting themselves glued to tractors. Nowadays every year at least twenty people die from gluing themselves to farm vehicles," he warned. "I can't stress how serious this problem is. The message now is as it has always been: for goodness sake, if you're going to play with superglue, don't do it around tractors."
Excuse me, would you mind?
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