| ||Tory leader calls for Kelly inquiry to be produced in cartoon form
22 Jul 2003
The alleged Conservative leader, Iain "Duncan" Smith, today called for the inquiry into the death of weapons expert Dr Kelly to be made available with plenty of pictures and diagrams. Mr Duncan Smith said that there was danger that the inquiry could over-complicate already complicated issues, and asked its chair to make things "as simple as possible".
"I think we are all struggling to get our heads around this sorry state of affairs," he told journalists standing outside someone else's home this morning. "It goes without saying that both the government and the BBC are totally at fault and should be held responsible for their actions, but there are contrasting views on all sides and it doesn't help matters when people who have got nothing to do with it stick their noses in just so they can get on the television."
"Lord Hutton will have to balance the need to conduct a thorough, independent inquiry with the need to keep things simple," Mr Duncan Smith continued to tell the bemused hacks. "My own personal preference would be to use bullet-points, illustrated by cartoons and diagrams where appropriate, and bound together in a colourful, pocket-sized book that would be accessible to all, but that's just my view."
Mr Duncan Smith declined to answer any of the questions put to him, all of which were about the occupants of the house he was standing outside – Mr and Mrs Gary Lineker – and left looking confused.
Look at this, moron.