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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Iain Duncan Smith |
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| You have been flattened by: Home > News | 20th March |
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 Saddam Hussein to feature in next Harry Potter novel 27 Jun 2003 by Malcolm Drury DeadBrain has learned that author J.K. Rowling is already hard at work on the next Harry Potter novel, to be titled "Harry Potter and the Axis of Evil". It will feature the boy wizard taking on failed dictator Saddam Hussein™, Osama bin Laden, and other key evil people. The novel will apparently feature Mr. Saddam and others of the Axis, as well as the regular characters from the previous novels. While the plot is still under development, it is thought that a principle aspect will hinge on Mr. Saddam's attempt to hide out at Hogwarts using his professional conjuring experience, especially at making things disappear, to secure a teaching post there and bring in other evil persons as his assistants. Harry Potter, realising the evil nature of Mr. Saddam and his entourage, attempts to expose them, with the final denouement taking place in a thrilling car chase featuring Harry in a flying Ford Anglia chasing Mr. Saddam and Mr. bin Laden on a 1980s-model flying carpet above the streets of Baghdad. PR specialist Douglas Ramsbottom refused to confirm or deny a rumour that Mr. Saddam will be approached to play himself in the planned film version of the book. "We wouldn't be filming until mid-2005 at the earliest," he said, "so it's too early to begin negotiations. If he were interested, and still on the run, there would be a lot of legal difficulties to resolve, given that he is wanted by the Americans. I'm not sure he would be willing to film in Baghdad. And anyway, we don't know where he is. We would probably just go with Michael Caine or Sean Connery, if either were interested, or still alive." DeadBrain asked US marine spokesman Lieut. Cletus K. Ramsbottom Jr. if it would be possible for a special dispensation to be accorded to Mr. Saddam allowing him immunity from prosecution by military authorities during filming. "Sure thing, no problem," he replied. "Tell him to come see us in person and we'll issue him a pass right away." Harry Potter and the Axis of Evil is not anticipated to be released until Christmas 2004, but it is expected to be the most ordered book in history. On-line retailer Amazon is reported to be planning a new 250,000 square feet complex in Bootle for the sole purpose of dealing with orders for the book, while the Pentagon has apparently placed an advance order for 1,000 copies in case it gives any clues as to Mr. Saddam's whereabouts. Related articles Baghdad cat gets stuck up tree 11 Apr 2007
Democrats propose "cap and trade" scheme for Iraq troop levels26 Jan 2007
BREAKING NOOSE: Saddam execution - special 40-page colour souvenir only in today's Sun!2 Jan 2007
Iraq war suffers summer slump as ratings 'bomb'14 Aug 2006
Al-Zarqawi killed by blast injuries - shock12 Jun 2006
Suicide attacks in Iraq kill 37 – population critical12 May 2006
Prince Harry Potter will go to Iraq: MoD24 Apr 2006
Saddam Hussein re-instated as President of Iraq18 Feb 2006
Typo ends British army presence in Iraq4 Jan 2006
Iraq wakes up to new 'Sunni Delight' drink20 Jul 2005
US Marines surround Bethnal Green6 May 2005
US to search for WMDs in Iraq1 Feb 2005
Abuse tolerance zones planned for British soldiers27 Jan 2005
Al-Zarqawi "kicked" from Iraqi militant website25 Nov 2004
Hoon asks Iraqis not to shoot back22 Oct 2004
Comical Ali implicated in Allawi speech24 Sep 2004
Exclusive: Tape casts doubt on Bush's "no torture" claims24 Jun 2004
Bush declassifies personal shopping list, proves did not order torture23 Jun 2004
MoD considers adequate equipment supply for British troops8 Jun 2004
New Iraq puppet government: Sooty in charge2 Jun 2004
UK troop deployment not related to election; Pope's religion questioned30 May 2004
Plans for new Bush statue to replace Saddam ruin in Baghdad25 Apr 2004
Secret US plan to turn Iraq over to Halliburton uncovered20 Apr 2004
Saddam Hussein promises Iraq truce in return for release15 Apr 2004
Pentagon hires Comical Ali to head Iraq PR9 Apr 2004
US to withdraw from Iraq, start again8 Apr 2004
One week on: Top 10 options for Saddam22 Dec 2003 Bush hails downfall of Sauron, asks for UN aid for Mordor reconstruction 15 Dec 2003 Bush: Ever noticed how all evil people have beards? 14 Dec 2003 17:53 Tony Blair's reaction to Saddam Hussein's capture 14 Dec 2003 14:46 Coalition: Saddam captured, will never buy weapons from us again 14 Dec 2003 Bush, Rumsfeld in Halloween video campaign for Iraqi war effort 30 Oct 2003 Bush appeals directly to Europeans for Iraq aid 16 Oct 2003 Bush upset over Nobel Peace Prize, promises "decisive action" 10 Oct 2003 Guantanamo Bay interpreters suspected of Comical Ali influence 7 Oct 2003 White House sacks Bush speechwriters after poor UN performance 24 Sep 2003 Branson considering Iraq bid 22 Sep 2003 In Brief: Leaders find common ground in Iraq talks 20 Sep 2003 Cheney look-alike blames Saddam Hussein™ for everything 17 Sep 2003 US seeks alternative financing for its occupation of Iraq 5 Sep 2003 US finds planes, battleships, soldiers buried in Iraqi desert 2 August 2003 Bush and officials to take turns accepting blame for bogus uranium claim 31 July 2003 Comical Ali: Blair's son is dead 29 Jul 2003 Liberation of Iraq to be re-enacted for Crimewatch 25 Jul 2003 Comical Ali: Saddam's sons are not dead 23 Jul 2003 Blair's forged Iraq documents may have been forged forgeries 21 Jul 2003 Satire site found guilty of fabricating war report 21 Jul 2003 Pentagon: OK, so maybe the Iraqis had a cloaking device 18 Jul 2003 Parliament approves hunting for WMD with hounds 16 Jul 2003 Saddam Hussein™ offers $10 million reward for Cheney 10 Jul 2003 MPs clear BBC in Iraq dossier row 7 Jul 2003 U.S. prepares ground for more liberations 6 Jul 2003 Saddam Hussein to feature in next Harry Potter novel 27 Jun 2003 Bush and Rumsfeld in card game spat 25 Jun 2003 Rumsfeld outraged at Satirists' Guild, threatens "forceful action" 23 Jun 2003 Satirists Guild calls for halt on WMD stories 22 Jun 2003 New fabricated intelligence dossier proves everything 20 Jun 2003 Greenstock appointed to Iraq post; rest of world couldn't care less 19 Jun 2003
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