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Greenstock appointed to Iraq post; rest of world couldn't care less
19 Jun 2003 by Allen Voivod
Reaction was muted this week as Sir Jeremy Greenstock, former British ambassador to the United Nations, was selected to become Britain's top representative in Iraq. Specifically, Greenstock reacted, while the other six billion people in existence barely noticed.
Greenstock is said to be very excited, having taken his supply of colonial jodhpurs out of storage and sent them round to the cleaners immediately upon receiving word of the appointment. The cleaner, who is used to seeing odd clothing come through on the Greenstock account (including leathers for motorcycling riding, Army special forces fatigues and numerous extra-large housedresses) went about his business without so much as batting an eye.
Greenstock's family is similarly unimpressed. "He's here, he's there, he's everywhere but home," his wife said. "The laundry's piling up, the kids haven't had a bath in three days, and I could really use some attention in the bedroom, if you know what I mean. I can't do it all by myself, now, can I?"
Greenstock will report to Paul Bremer, the US post-war administrator in Iraq. Bremer, who is notoriously bad with names, refers to everyone in his office as "Sally" and expects to treat Greenstock in a similar fashion. "I can't tell the difference between one British guy and another, let alone all these crazy Iraqis," Bremer told DeadBrain yesterday.
When told that Greenstock had been knighted by the Queen of England, Bremer replied, "Well, if he shows up in his suit of armour I might remember his name better."
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Oi, down here!
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