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After Saddam

Rumsfeld to apologise for Iraq typo mistake
DeadBrain has learned that US Secretary of Offence Donald Rumsfeld is to offer his apologies to the world for the American "mistake" in attacking Iraq.

According to Pentagon spokesman Elmer K. Ramsbottom III it was all the unfortunate result of a typographical error in a CIA document, which referred to Iraq rather than Iran. He indicated that Mr. Rumsfeld will appear on CNN around the world to apologise for any inconvenience caused by the recent US military actions in Iraq, and express his sincere hope that there are no hard feelings.

Mr. Ramsbottom III went on to say that the US has clear proof that Iran, rather than Iraq, has weapons of mass destruction, is developing a nuclear weapons programme, offers aid and support to al-Qaeda, is a threat to Middle East security, has lots of oil, and is therefore a direct threat to the US Fatherland and a thoroughly rotten egg.

White House officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, later told DeadBrain that Mr Rumsfeld and President "Boy" George W Bush had had a heated exchange in the Oval Office.

It appears that Mr. Bush accused Mr. Rumsfeld of rushing into military action before checking the facts. Mr. Rumsfeld's retort of "Did not!" led to several minutes of a "did too - did not" dialogue until Mr. Rumsfeld abruptly got up, said "Yah, boo and sucks!", turned off the lights and left the room, leaving the President in the dark.

Mr. Bush is reportedly planning a witty retort involving water bombs for their next meeting.

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