News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Ann Widdecombe
DeadBrain: Daily news satire, spoof, parody and humour
  You are drifting somewhere near: Home > News22nd October 
 
News in Depth
After Saddam

Bush falls, hits head, declares war on U.S.
US President "Boy" George W Bush stunned the world today when, after taking a fall and bumping his head while dressed in full tank commander regalia, he got up and immediately declared war on the USA. "I have realised that we have weapons of mass destruction, so according to my doctrine of pre-emptive strikes to remove any threat I instruct US forces to attack and overcome themselves and then seek and destroy all such weapons," he said. "We will not rest until we have freed ourselves from the threat of ourselves. Make no mistake about it - we will prevail."

Startled White House officials quickly whisked the President away and later issued a statement saying that the he had a cold and would be cancelling his engagements for the rest of his term, adding that Secretary of Offence Donald Rumsfeld would be taking over the presidency as no-one could remember the name or whereabouts of the Vice President.

Shortly afterwards former General Alexander Haig, former advisor to former President Reagan, was seen running up Constitution Avenue in Washington in a night shirt drooling and shouting "I'm in charge". However, other White House officials confirmed that Rumsfeld, not Haig, was in charge, and went on to deny rumours that Mr. Rumsfeld had decided to take the title Reichsmarshall. "That rumour is ridiculous," they said. "Mr. Rumsfeld is considering a number of titles, and that's only one of them."

Related articles
Baghdad cat gets stuck up tree
Democrats propose "cap and trade" scheme for Iraq troop levels
BREAKING NOOSE: Saddam execution - special 40-page colour souvenir only in today's Sun!
Iraq war suffers summer slump as ratings 'bomb'
Al-Zarqawi killed by blast injuries - shock
Suicide attacks in Iraq kill 37 – population critical
Prince Harry Potter will go to Iraq: MoD
Saddam Hussein re-instated as President of Iraq
Typo ends British army presence in Iraq
Iraq wakes up to new 'Sunni Delight' drink
US Marines surround Bethnal Green
US to search for WMDs in Iraq
Abuse tolerance zones planned for British soldiers
Al-Zarqawi "kicked" from Iraqi militant website
Hoon asks Iraqis not to shoot back
Comical Ali implicated in Allawi speech
Exclusive: Tape casts doubt on Bush's "no torture" claims
Bush declassifies personal shopping list, proves did not order torture
MoD considers adequate equipment supply for British troops
New Iraq puppet government: Sooty in charge
UK troop deployment not related to election; Pope's religion questioned
Plans for new Bush statue to replace Saddam ruin in Baghdad
Secret US plan to turn Iraq over to Halliburton uncovered
Saddam Hussein promises Iraq truce in return for release
Pentagon hires Comical Ali to head Iraq PR
US to withdraw from Iraq, start again
One week on: Top 10 options for Saddam
Bush hails downfall of Sauron, asks for UN aid for Mordor reconstruction
Bush: Ever noticed how all evil people have beards?
Tony Blair's reaction to Saddam Hussein's capture
Coalition: Saddam captured, will never buy weapons from us again
Bush, Rumsfeld in Halloween video campaign for Iraqi war effort
Bush appeals directly to Europeans for Iraq aid
Bush upset over Nobel Peace Prize, promises "decisive action"
Guantanamo Bay interpreters suspected of Comical Ali influence
White House sacks Bush speechwriters after poor UN performance
Branson considering Iraq bid
In Brief: Leaders find common ground in Iraq talks
Cheney look-alike blames Saddam Hussein™ for everything
US seeks alternative financing for its occupation of Iraq
US finds planes, battleships, soldiers buried in Iraqi desert
Bush and officials to take turns accepting blame for bogus uranium claim
Comical Ali: Blair's son is dead
Liberation of Iraq to be re-enacted for Crimewatch
Comical Ali: Saddam's sons are not dead
Blair's forged Iraq documents may have been forged forgeries
Satire site found guilty of fabricating war report
Pentagon: OK, so maybe the Iraqis had a cloaking device
Parliament approves hunting for WMD with hounds
Saddam Hussein™ offers $10 million reward for Cheney
MPs clear BBC in Iraq dossier row
U.S. prepares ground for more liberations
Saddam Hussein to feature in next Harry Potter novel
Bush and Rumsfeld in card game spat
Rumsfeld outraged at Satirists' Guild, threatens "forceful action"
Satirists Guild calls for halt on WMD stories
New fabricated intelligence dossier proves everything
Greenstock appointed to Iraq post; rest of world couldn't care less

Hey, look at this!


 
Copyright ©2001-2006 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently.Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sheep