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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Hans Blix |
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| You are sitting on: Home > News | 16th October |
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 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 President Bush's weekly card game ran into difficulties last night when he attempted to use cards with pictures of Iraq's most wanted on them instead of his usual pack of marked playing cards. The cards, which have been distributed to American troops in Iraq to help them identify former regime leaders and war criminals, number three more than a standard pack of playing cards, but according to White House observers that is not where the problem arose. "The President was trying to play 'snap' with Colin Powell, but he got confused," explained our man in the Oval Office. "He was going by the pictures instead of the colours and numbers like he usually does, but to him all the Iraqis looked the same. He said 'snap' for practically every card. Colin was too polite to say anything though, I think he just let him win in the end." Previous attempts to play cards with visiting world leaders have ended in disaster, so now the President only plays with members of his own administration. "I remember when Vladimir Putin came over," reminisced our man in the kitchens. "The game went a bit far that night. The President lost his trousers in poker and was on the verge of betting Alabama on the next hand before Mr Powell came in and stopped the game." An attempt to play Cluedo with Tony Blair was also reportedly fraught with problems after the President kept insisting that it was Saddam Hussein with the weapons of mass destruction in the games room. The real culprit later turned out to be the famous British arms dealer and former soldier, Colonel Mustard. Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
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