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![]() Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 by Steve Young The Iraqi military has placed a formal complaint concerning Coalition attacks disguised as missiles and bombs. Iraqi Foreign Minister, Naji Sabri, made it clear that he was appalled at America's outright disregard for the rules set forth by the Geneva Convention. "This is terrorism at it worse. When we investigated we found that most of the bombs dropping in Baghdad were actually camouflaging explosives hidden inside," said the obviously agitated Sabri. "Once landing these bombs tend to discharge, killing or injuring our soldiers, including innocents of the Republican Guard." The playful Tommy Franks was surprised by Iraqi's reaction to the concealed explosives. "These guys have to understand that this is war and since we don't have the advantage of suicide bombers, taxis or civilian clothes to dress our soldiers in, we are forced to use these unconventional bombing methods to even up the score. Don't be surprised if we start hiding gunpowder inside bullets that are planned to trespass into Saddam Hussein's brain region," added the General in an obvious poke at the Iraqis' attempts at having Saddam and his brain travel separately for the sake of Hussein's children, Nutsy and Cracko. "The infidels will soon be defeated and the world will see that America is playing dirty pool," said Sabri in response. "Dirty pool?" exclaimed the ever-joking Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld. "When this cake walk is over, we're gonna play 8-ball with their fuckin' nuts." Steve Young is an award-winning television writer, director/writer of "My Dinner With Ovitz," and author of Great Failures of the Extremely Successful (Tallfellow Press). For more on Steve Young, please call: 818-992-6627 Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
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