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Dubya's War

Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television
Iraqi civilians in the south of the country were said to be "unimpressed" with America's choice of replacement for their state television today. Following coalition advances past several major cities, the armed forces set up new television and radio services to replace the ones controlled by Saddam Hussein. Controversially, though, President Bush personally chose the channels made available and Iraqis are apparently not happy with a choice of Nickelodeon, Discovery Home and Leisure +1 and a 24-hour country music station.

"It was bad enough putting up with pictures of Saddam Hussein on our screens all day, every day, but some of the programmes they are showing on Nickelodeon are even worse," complained one Basra resident. "I don't think the Americans fully grasp the consequences of forcing us to watch ‘Hey Arnold' over and over again. It's driving us nuts!"

International aid agencies have long been concerned with the humanitarian crisis in Basra and some fear the new television channels will be detrimental to the situation. "The Iraqi people have had to put up with shortages of food and poor water supplies for decades, and that problem has intensified with the current conflict," said a spokesman for Christian Aid. "Giving them nothing to watch but immature cartoons and DIY tips when many of them have had their homes destroyed could finally tip them over the edge."

President Bush, however, is unrepentant. Official White House spokesman Ari Fleischer told journalists today that Nickelodeon was the favourite channel of the world's most powerful man, over and above all news and factual channels. He went on to explain that the Rugrats and Jimmy Neutron were two of his favourite programmes, adding that he may consider making channels such as Nick Jr and Nicktoons available for broadcast as "a special gift to the Iraqi people".

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