 |
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · George W Bush |
|
 |
|
| You are happy to see: Home > News | 20th June |
| |
|
 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 by Flash Gorman As the Allied army rolls up its sleeves and starts posturing threateningly on the Iraqi border, it is encountering a few unexpected problems with the terrain. US commander Tommy "No nickname as yet" Franks explained the problem to the DeadBrain team. "Basically it's the wrong kind of sand. We were hoping for fairly solid stuff but it turns out to be quite soft. It also tends to blow around a lot, which is something we weren't anticipating. It's really pissing the men off, particularly the ones wearing contact lenses". When asked how he hoped to solve the problem, General Franks proffered a typically robust solution. "We’re going to bomb it. Round the clock sorties. We 're quite hopeful that we can pound it into submission. It worked in Vietnam. Kinda." "In the unlikely event of this not working, then we're looking into an alternative venue," he continued. "It’s going to be difficult though as we've already booked the catering and that kind of thing. We'd probably lose our deposit I would think". Sand is not the only difficulty facing the Allied troops. "It's also as hot as hell," revealed the Commander, "I mean really, really hot. We're also experiencing some difficulty finding water. We've got a team out searching at the moment. If they don't turn anything up, then I guess we're going to have to bring in some bottled water or something". Despite everything, the commander was still optimistic about the task lying ahead of his men. "I think our overwhelming superiority in every aspect of the conflict will give us a slight edge. The fact that we're not really expecting to encounter any serious resistance is also a point in our favour." Related articles Bush beats Republican Guard after Florida recount 18 Apr 2003 Bush attempt to play snap with Iraq's most wanted cards fails 17 Apr 2003 US troops find weapons of Mass Disruption 16 Apr 2003 UK: Syria not next on list for invasion 15 Apr 2003 Pentagon to release Iraq sticker album 15 Apr 2003 Iraq Information Minister awarded comedy BAFTA award 14 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: There's nothing wrong with a bit of looting 11 Apr 2003 US to ship in crowds of cheering people for Iraq victory celebrations 10 Apr 2003 Iraq information minister to release single 9 Apr 2003 Iraqis deploy shoes of mass destruction 9 Apr 2003 Rumsfeld: Saddam may use WMDs after death 7 Apr 2003 U.S. bombs BBC World Affairs Editor 6 Apr 2003 Baghdad airport captured, tourists expected in weeks 4 Apr 2003 Iraq gun amnesty unsuccessful 3 Apr 2003 Iraq complains of illegal American tactics 1 Apr 2003 Iraqis unimpressed by U.S. replacement for state television 28 Mar 2003 Bush bored with Iraq, declares war on France 27 Mar 2003 U.S. bombs "strategically-important" market 26 Mar 2003 Powell to sell Iraq reconstruction rights on eBay 24 Mar 2003 US to wipe out entire UK armed forces by end 2004 23 Mar 2003 War a ratings winner - better than EastEnders, say fans 22 Mar 2003 Bush achieves war aim #1: Iraq located and bombed 21 Mar 2003 Allied forces encounter "wrong kind of sand" 20 Mar 2003 Shock and awe display not that shocking or awe-inspiring 20 Mar 2003
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2001-2006 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sheep |