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Dubya's War

Iraq war to be added to National Curriculum
The forthcoming war in Iraq is to be added to the National Curriculum, the Education Secretary, Charles Clarke, announced today. Responding to criticism that money allocated for the conflict would be better spent on schools and hospitals, Mr Clarke unveiled his new policy, which he said would be "the best of both worlds".

From the start of the summer term, schools will be required to teach a minimum of one hour per week on the war, with particular reference to "why it's a good thing and why you shouldn't go on peace marches". Depending on the length of the war, children may also be given the opportunity to visit key battle sites and experience the fighting there first-hand.

"The war will provide an excellent opportunity to teach our children about modern conflicts and how they are won, with or without UN approval," Mr Clarke explained at a press conference this morning. "This is exactly the sort of multi-agency approach the government is looking for: it's a mystery to me why the army and schools have never worked so closely together before."

Mr Clarke went on to express his hope that in the future some schoolchildren would be able to have their work experience in a war zone, but stressed that planning for that is still at an early stage. Schemes of work have yet to be finalised for students in post-16 education, but it is thought that the new A-level in weapons decommissioning, first announced yesterday, may be introduced as an option.

Teaching unions, of course, are predictably unimpressed with the new addition to their working day. "Yet again the government is interfering with the education system when all it needs is leaving to the people who know best – the teachers. And more money of course. Lots more money. Especially for the teachers," complained Gregory T Mullet of the NUT. "Oh, and another thing. You needn't think we're teaching any pro-war nonsense either. We're as unbiased as you are."

Integrating the resources of other key public services with the armed forces has already been trailed by the government during the fire-fighters' dispute, and commentators say it could now be extended to other areas. The Health Secretary, Alan Milburn, is apparently keen on flying patients out to the Gulf for treatment in field hospitals so as to shorten waiting lists at home; while Transport Secretary Alistair Darling has reportedly said that armoured personnel carriers and other military vehicles could do "a better job" than Arriva Trains in ferrying commuters to and from work, "no matter what colour they're painted".

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