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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Saddam Hussein |
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| You are just out of reach of: Home > News | 19th June |
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 Deputy PM causes destruction of world as we know it 22 Nov 2002 The Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, single-handedly placed Britain in a state of emergency today, it has been reported. In a one-man rampage that lasted over 12 hours and stretched across five counties, Mr Prescott set fire to at least 25 buildings; broke into a Jaguar salesroom and stole three of their cars, crashing each one into the same lamppost after a few minutes; before running amok in a baked potato factory, calling the products made there "uncosted, half-baked" and "bloody well disgusting". Tearing along the M1 in his official car at speeds of over 80mph, Mr Prescott caused traffic chaos and two minor accidents on his way to visiting striking workers at a Little Chef restaurant. As the Daily Mail will report tomorrow morning, the consequences of Mr Prescott's actions could be far-reaching. In an editorial strikingly similar to one published in the Daily Mirror last week, editor Paul Dacre will criticise the Deputy PM for sleeping, condemning him as "a lazy bastard". According to articles to be published alongside, the country is on its knees, democracy is at risk, cannibalism could soon break out in Romford, etc (see also: last week). Mr Prescott has meanwhile denied causing the inevitable imminent destruction of the country. Related articles Union criticises first unpowered flight across Channel 1 Aug 2003 In Brief: FBU says fire-fighters will "keep it real" despite pay deal 29 May 2003 New Prescott compromise: Firemen can strike in their own time 22 Apr 2003 Fire brigade to go to Iraq 2 Dec 2002 Minister quits over BNP "fire-fighting" row 26 Nov 2002 Government orders arsonists back to work 24 Nov 2002 Prescott "could have been avoided" 23 Nov 2002 Deputy PM causes destruction of world as we know it 22 Nov 2002 Fire strike called off for Children in Need 16 Nov 2002 Strike latest: Mirror announces Britain to collapse by Sunday 14 Nov 2002 Fire strike: Army won't respond to burning underpants 13 Nov 2002 Firemen down hoses 12 Nov 2002 Liberal Democrats call off mass strike 5 Nov 2002
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