News Satire Spoof Parody Humour Iain Duncan Smith
DeadBrain: Daily news satire, spoof, parody and humour
  You have been flattened by: Home > News23rd April 
 
News in Depth
Battle for Survival

Tory "leader" fined for not trying
The Conservative "leader", Iain Duncan Smith, was last night fined by the Jockey Club under strict competition rules. In June earlier this year, a reporter working undercover for the BBC's Kenyon Confronts programme secretly filmed discussions with Mr Duncan Smith where he claimed he had been paid 1,600 to lose Commons exchanges with Tony Blair.

"No man on earth could perform so badly by accident," said the Jockey Club's chief executive, Sir Douglas Ramsbottom. "Somehow I don't think the Conservative Party is stupid enough to have someone who is, if you pardon my French, 'crap' as their leader. That only leaves one option: Mr Duncan Smith has been corrupted."

According to political commentators, the practice of paying a politician "not to try" is rare and little is known about it. "In fact, I don't know anything about it," said Spectator columnist Gregory T Mullet when we interrupted his lunch today. "I don't know why you're asking me about it. I thought the guy was just crap."

Conservative Central Office has issued a strongly-worded statement denying the allegations. A spokesman added, "We completely refute any suggestion that Iain does not try. In fact he is very trying. He's just crap, that's all."

Related articles
DeadBrain obtains discarded IDS political "thriller"
Conservatives replace balding, unelectable leader with balding, unelectable leader
Trick or treat with Michael Howard
Howard to stand as Tory leader after all
Entire Conservative Party rules itself out of leadership contest
Satirists mourn loss of Duncan Smith as Tory leader, figure of fun
In Brief: Tory leadership crisis - excitement mounts
Duncan Smith demands dry cleaning be returned by Wednesday
Duncan Smith victim of Conservative-Labour bidding war
Tory leader to give birth, have heart scare, go into space
Tory leader "has office", to be investigated
WHO moves to contain IDS outbreak in Blackpool
Newsreaders hospitalised after Duncan Smith promise
Tory leader calls for Kelly inquiry to be produced in cartoon form
Conservative leader to join Big Brother house
Trisha helps IDS in Conservative Party makeover
Conservative leader resigned several months ago
Tory "leader" demands right to lifelong non-anonymity
IDS "bad for health" claims report
IDS gets giggles while proclaiming confidence that Tories will win at next election
IDS - "a real threat to government"
New Tory information minister hails election victory
Tories deny open warfare; call in weapons inspectors
"Spoons save Tories", claim spin-doctors

Have you seen this?


 
Copyright ©2001-2006 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently.Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sheep