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Dubya's War

McDonald's to pull out of Iraq
The UN's new Security Council resolution, agreed upon unanimously on Friday, is in jeopardy and Iraq hovers on the brink of war today after McDonald's announced that it is pulling out of three countries, including Iraq. The announcement was made on Friday to coincide with voting on the UN's Iraq resolution, but it has taken McDonald's chiefs until today to name Iraq as one of the countries it is withdrawing from.

Iraq's president, Saddam Hussein, is understood to be "furious" that the fast food chain wants to pull out of his country. Like his foreign minister, Naji Sabri, the dictator is a big fan of McDonald's restaurants, which he sees as the key to Western culture. Speaking during a visit to a summit in Egypt, Mr Sabri condemned the decision as "an insult to the Iraqi people". "Not only do the bastards want to bomb us," he ranted, "but they want to take away our right to soggy French Fries and strawberry milkshakes! This is not a fair action and we will be protesting to the UN in the strongest."

McDonald's bosses have, however, defended their decision. The company's chief executive and founder, Ronald McDonald, told DeadBrain that they had been forced to leave Iraq because of "American pressure, budget cuts and the fact that we're going to get our restaurants bombed".

This latest crisis is not the first time Iraq has fallen out with McDonald's. In 1989 the owners of one restaurant were nearly shot after including a small plastic "Saddam toy" with every Happy Meal they sold, while two years ago company bosses refused to rename the Big Mac the centrepiece of their menu the Big Saddam. A request to sell McHussein nuggets was, however, granted reluctantly.

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