Widdecombe's Starring Role
17 Mar 2002
Glamorous Conservative MP Ann Widdecombe may be out of front-line politics, but that is unlikely to keep her out of the public eye. According to insiders at Warner Bros, Ms Widdecombe may soon be making a break for movie stardom following the signing of a contract with the film giant yesterday.
The sprightly Ms Widdecombe, who was recently the subject of an international campaign in her honour, has yet to comment on her latest career move, but a friend of her milkman's was only too happy to speak to us after we bought him breakfast. Douglas Ramsbottom, a part-time squid-tamer, told DeadBrain, "My mate Rob – Ann's milkman – reckons she's well excited. He saw her dancing in her back garden this morning, and yesterday she was singing Mary Poppins songs in the shower!"
Warner Bros have not revealed what part Ms Widdecombe will play, although a spokesman did say that it would be a "staring role". Speculation is rife that Ms Widdecombe will replace Cameron Diaz in a sequel to the hit film Charlie's Angels, while some movie critics have suggested that she should star in a new version of The Terminator.
Look at this, moron.