31 Jan 2002
The Postal Services Commission, Ofcomm, today announced plans to open up the process of delivering mail to new competition. According to the plans, which will not come into full effect until 2006, any number of companies will be able to deliver mail across the country.
However, the plans have provoked concern from Consignia, who says that it will face "death by a thousand cuts". There has also been a worried response from "pretty much everyone", after people began to question where exactly all the new post boxes will go. Street furniture experts, of whom there are surprisingly many, have spoken out against the moves, saying that there just isn't enough space for any more post boxes on our streets. This has prompted fears that the new post boxes may have to congregate together in specially built out-of-town complexes.
Meanwhile, in only slightly related news, pigeon fanciers across the country were today relieved to learn that the new plans did not involve their beloved birds. Some had been worried that the postal service's inability to get a letter from one side of the country to the other in less than a week would prompt a return to archaic methods, such as using pigeons or having lots of different companies doing the same job.
Look at this, moron.