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BBC map painters collapse from paint fumes

As dawn breaks, students painting a giant and entirely pointless results map for the BBC in Gateshead have begun to collapse from the paint fumes. The volunteers, who were dressed in party colours but without any safety masks, had been using cans of spray paint since around 11pm.

A few minutes ago, during a live link-up, one student keeled over in a fit of choking. Reporter Robert Hall immediately leapt into action by swapping cameras, moving a few paces to the left, swapping camera angles again, thrusting a microphone into a bemused student's face, returning to the original camera angle and handing back to David Dimbleby in London, who was so concerned that he had to remove and replace his glasses twice.

A BBC spokesman said that a full risk assessment had been carried out and so long as the students didn't collapse near the edge of the quay everything would be fine.



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