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Cherie Blair to give birth to twins
Cherie Blair, wife of Prime Minister Tony Blair, is to give birth to twins, according to a press release issued this morning from Number Ten.
The surprise announcement was made on the heels of the news that the wife of Lib Dem leader Charles Kennedy had had a son yesterday.
Addressing reporters while campaigning in Bootle, Mr Blair said that he and his wife had decided some time ago to add to their family. "It's right for me, and it's right for Cherie," he said. "I believe that passionately."
Labour Party spokesman Douglas Ramsbottom denied that there was any connection between Mr and Mrs Kennedy's news and the Blair announcement. He acknowledged that kissing babies was always good for a campaigning politician, but having them was even better. However, he strongly rejected a suggestion that Mr Blair had failed to take into account Mrs Kennedy's due date in deciding on the date for the election and was now attempting to regain some of the initiative. "That would be gratuitous political opportunism of the shoddiest kind. It's not the sort of thing we in New Labour go in for," he said.
"On the other hand," he added, "Tony's stock did go up considerably after Leo was born. But that's definitely not what this is all about."
Mr Ramsbottom acknowledged that Mrs Blair is probably not actually pregnant at present but noted that the twins might be born "eventually". Asked how he could be sure that there would be twins he said that with all the improvements to the NHS that New Labour has made, that is not expected to be a problem.
Upon being informed of the PM's intentions Charles Kennedy smiled, wished the Blairs good luck, and noted that it would finally give some meaning to the phrase "new labour".
In other election news, DeadBrain has learned that Michael Howard, current interim leader of the Conservative Party, has decided to change the Tories' slogan "Are you thinking what we're thinking" after discovering that it was apparently taken from a children's television programme by the Tories' election campaign director, Australian Lynton Crosby. The new slogan is to be "Those labour drongos make me want to chunder".
It is believed that party staff are currently frantically working to airbrush the previous slogan out of any photographs that show it and replace it with the new one.
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