DeadBrain unveils skateboarding election reporters

DeadBrain today unveiled the first plank of its general election coverage – literally. Sky has a helicopter, BBC News has a battle bus, but DeadBrain has a team of youths on skateboards. The youths will travel the UK talking to "ordinary voters", asking them probing questions such as "Oi mate, have you got a light?" and "Do you want a smack?" They are being paid in cider and cigarettes, and will also be present at the big set piece occasions, whenever and wherever they are.

The skateboarders will be led by one of the most prominent political commentators of our time, Doug Ramsbottom, aged 16. Doug – the son of Douglas Ramsbottom, DeadBrain's political editor – was said to be unexcited by the prospect of covering the campaign for us. "Politics is so boring, like," he said. "This is going to be pants."

Ever at the forefront of new technology, DeadBrain has equipped the skateboards with state of the art broadcasting equipment. Each is fitted with its own television and radio studio, a bank of computers, a mini fridge and a foldout awning complete with gas-fired barbeque and leather reclining chairs.

Already the correspondents have been out and about, with one managing to roll into Downing Street holding on to the back of the Prime Minister's car, avoiding the police guards and jumping over a barrier. He was, however, ejected after running over the ITV reporter's foot.

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