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| You just fell over: Home > Election 2005 > Election Night Live | 18th March |
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Election Night LiveAll the results, all the satire... all night.Howard to step downNews update | 6 May 2005 12:35As predicted by DeadBrain, the Tories have announced their intention to indulge in another hilarious leadership election. Michael Howard said he would stand down "sooner rather than later" because he would be too old at the next election. Let battle commence... BBC map painters collapse from paint fumesNews update | 6 May 2005 05:15Students using spray paint in Gateshead have begun to keel over. More here. New Galloway interview upset.Douglas Ramsbottom | 6 May 2005 04:51George Galloway is a perfectly reasonable person and the fact that he stormed off from an interview with Jeremy Paxman, as he did earlier in the week during an ITV interview, was entirely the fault of the horrendously biased BBC. This entry has been edited following legal advice that did not emanate from Lord Goldsmith and was therefore worth taking note of. Blair wins third termNews update | 6 May 2005 04:46Labour has won an historic third term in office. Speaking from his constituency, Tony Blair said that the electorate had taken a "tough decision", as was their job, but he was "absolutely convinced that it was the right thing to do". Graphics latestCouch Potato | 6 May 2005 04:45Sky News's graphics have expanded to cover 92% of the screen and counting as the flow of results begins to slow. New personal best for David DimblebyMalcolm Drury | 6 May 2005 04:28David Dimbleby set a new personal record for taking his glasses off and putting them on again a few minutes ago, while waiting for the result for current interim Tory leader Michael Howard. At 4:19 Mr Dimbleby took his glasses off for the 234th time since the election coverage began, surpassing his previous best of 233 during last year's coverage of the US presidential election. According to Peter Snow this represented a 6% increase in the number of off-on cycles per minute. Kilroy-Silk blames loss on racistsMalcolm Drury | 6 May 2005 04:06Robert Kilroy-Silk has blamed his fourth-place result on "the racist factor", claiming that he had clearly been discriminated against because of his colour. "This was the result of an odious campaign by the anti-orange lobby," he said. He added that he would not be cowed and would dissolve Veritas and form a new party in the near future. See also: Anti-Kilroy poster Boris Johnson appears on BBC WorldMalcolm Drury | 6 May 2005 04:03Boris Johnson appeared on BBC World televison coverage of the election results earlier this morning. It is not thought that this will cause any lasting damage to Britain's image around the world. Peter Snow overheats, bursts into flamesNews update | 6 May 2005 03:47Peter Snow has in the last few minutes burst into flames out of sheer excitement. More here. Animated Michael Howard goes berserkMalcolm Drury | 6 May 2005 03:22The animated Michael Howard used by media statistician Peter Snow broke loose a few minutes ago and has run amok. Police have cordoned off BBC studios and are asking the public to remain calm. A BBC spokesman, speaking by mobile phone from inside the locked building, said that the animated Mr Howard had attempted to attack Mr Snow but had been pulled off by David Dimbleby, and was now hiding among the lighting gantries and hurling abuse at the animated Tony Blair. Mr Dimbleby, who is not animated, has said that he will continue broadcasting. Grimsby pensioner latestBrenda Shuttleworth | 6 May 2005 03:10Having awoken from an hour-long nap, renowned pensioner Brenda Shuttleworth has dismissed the election coverage as "boring" and gone back to sleep again. BAP demands recountMalcolm Drury | 6 May 2005 02:02The British Apathy Party has demanded a decount of votes in constituencies that have been declared to date. BAP had expected to win the election handily, based on projections of a very low turnout. However, with almost 25% of constituencies having been declared, it appears that voter turnout was in fact around 60%. BAP leader, Gregory T. Mullet, told DeadBrain that he believed the unexpected turnout could only be explained by a large number of people having been duped into voting by various promises, and he has demanded that the numbers be reduced to reflect a more reasonable 20% turnout. Latest swingBernard McDougal | 6 May 2005 01:14
It's all the media's faultCouch Potato | 5 May 2005 23:57Tory Ken Clarke has revealed that any problems the Conservatives may have are entirely the fault of the media and have nothing whatsoever to do with the party's relentless focus on immigration. DeadBrain predicts high turnoutBernard McDougal | 5 May 2005 23:13Our pollsters say that the turnout may be surprisingly high: more details here. First result inBernard McDougal | 5 May 2005 22:51Sunderland South's result is in, giving us an excuse to break out our Swedeometer - which, unlike Peter Snow's inferior equivalent - is not steam-powered.
Party leaders vote - shockNews update | 5 May 2005 22:39Shocking footage has emerged... details here. First Tory leadership speculationCouch Potato | 5 May 2005 22:30Kirsty Wark on the BBC has indulged in tonight's first speculation on the future of Michael Howard. Huge amusement is hoped for in the event of a big Tory defeat. Prescott spottingCouch Potato | 5 May 2005 22:09First John Prescott interview spotted on BBC One. Disappointingly free of verbal stumblings. The polls have closedDouglas Ramsbottom | 5 May 2005 22:01The polls have closed and DeadBrain has published its exit polls here and here.
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