News Satire Spoof Parody Humour Ann Widdecombe
25th April
Updated from time to time
Dumbed Down

Dumbed Down: BA - Balls-up Again

Bombs Away!
British Airways is a company that has been intimate with scandal with unerring regularity. From personal attacks to drunken pilots, BA has been publicly plagued by the controversy with which it has so readily made its bed for years.

Beware! Alcohol!
Before this latest transgression, BA was severely injured by a 2000 Channel 4 documentary highlighting the shockingly debauched behaviour of its staff before take-off. Clearly miffed by the fun had in the air by such luminaries as Peter Buck and Liam Gallagher, the BA staff were filmed drinking moments before take-off. A couple of token sackings and resignations later and BA claimed they had solved the problems. That is, until more staff were let go for their own alcohol-fuelled antics only last year.

Buy (an) Abacus!
Having just escaped a strike over pay, BA was thrust into turmoil by widespread staff shortages at their busiest time of year that led to a multitude of flights being cancelled, affecting thousands of passengers. The real genius behind all this is that since 9/11 British Airways has culled 13,000 jobs in order to cut costs in response to rising fuel prices. Yesterday, BA estimated they were 150 people short.

Bobby Arrives!
BA's wonderful (sic) reputation for customer service was enhanced yet further by sending customers on wild goose chases around Heathrow and the arrival of the police to quash the rebel uprising at the customer service desk. More unsatisfied customers now leave BA inspiring as much confidence in its passengers as "President" Bush does in, well, the world's population.

Bullshit Answers!
The damage was, however, placated by BA's director of operations Mike Street, who passed off the latest incident as a "hiccup". A PR disaster, tarnished reputation and general ineptitude. By BA's standards, that's not a 'hiccup', that's Bugger All.
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