News Satire Spoof Parody Humour John Prescott
23rd August
Updated from time to time
Dumbed Down

Blair in straight question, straight answer challenge

Tony Blair was today dramatically challenged to give a straight answer to a straight question in the House of Commons. The Conservative leader, Michael Howard, threw down the gauntlet to him during their weekly clash at Prime Minister's Questions. DeadBrain brings you the edited highlights.

Michael Howard

Help me Rhondda! Help! Help me Rhondda...Beach Boys...good gag to get them going...European constitution...end of civilisation...make our position clear...not as bad as he says...total misrepresentation...leaking all over the floor...straight answer to a straight question...unsure what the question is...perhaps I'll say when I'm ready...stop shouting...quite right too...when will he answer...nobody knows...how about now?

Tony Blair

Ridiculous assumptions...total mockery...out of Europe...yes I'll answer...Beach Boys...Elvis Presley...H out of Steps...lots of laughs...bit camp...stop shouting and let me answer...Poll Tax...very relevant...will not be tolerated...I've already answered...round in circles...I said I'm not going round in circles, if the members opposite will just listen...getting wet now...right back at you...perhaps he will now answer?

Michael Howard

Policy change...not answering questions...not asking them, either...shut up...get out...Fish Called Wanda...John Cleese...Fawlty Towers...he's from Barcelona, you know...mind the Germans...they started it...gross misrepresentation...Beach Boys...change of heart...when, if not now?

Tony Blair

Already said...waste of time...stop asking questions and maybe I'll answer Wanda's...wings...chicken...mega bucket?

Michael Howard

Newsnight...um...er...Jack Straw...ah...um...Thursday...yesterday...tomorrow...next week...month of Sundays?

Tony Blair

In Europe...out of Europe...hokey cokey...Black Lace...liquorice allsorts...different situation...total rejection...Poll Tax...back in your box?

Michael Howard

Renegotiate...terrible state...state we're in...you're in...your record...change the record...Beach Boys...John Cleese...

Tony Blair

Reject...reject...exterminate...exterminite...exterminate...

Michael Howard

Misrepresentation...can't wait...good kicking match...live on Sky Sports...Frank Bruno...pantomime...

Tony Blair

This house...that house...housing policy...our house in the middle of our street...madness...
When asked to sum up in no more than ten thousand words whether or not it had gained anything from today's discussion, a spokesman for the general public said: "No."
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