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27th April
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Big Question

The Big Question: Should Lord Hutton be abolished?

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Following the publication of his report into why the BBC is evil and the government is wonderful (variously described as "everything we asked for" Campbell; "one-sided" and "a whitewash" BBC employees; and "totally accurate, we're all very, very sorry" BBC governors) there have been calls for action to be taken against Lord Hutton. DeadBrain asks: should Lord Hutton be abolished?

Lord Hutton, Eminent Judge

I am satisfied that I did nothing wrong, consciously or otherwise, despite the serious flaws within the BBC.

Tessa Jowell, Culture Secretary

As you know, I am responsible for the Lord Hutton charter renewal process, and I wish to make it quite clear that there will be no attempts on my part to take revenge, as some have suggested, on one of the most creative and talented people in law.

Lord Hutton, Establishment Member

I am satisfied that the government will act properly throughout my charter renewal process and back me to the hilt.

Boris Johnson, Conservative MP

Lord so-called Hutton is a purveyor of whitewash and piffle of the worst kind. I'm right behind the BBC and I think he should be abolished as a matter of urgency.

Lord Hutton, Respected Whitewash Manufacturer

I am satisfied that Boris Johnson is [Cut for reasons for space. Ed]

Sara Cox, Radio One DJ

Lord Hutton?! Wasn't he in I'm a celebrity? I always preferred that Peter Andre myself, know what I mean?!?!

Lord Hutton, Regular ITV Viewer

I am satisfied that Jordan's breasts were not [Cut for reasons of space. Ed]

Rod Liddle, Former BBC producer and supermarket supremo

String him up, the dozy old fart. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Gilligan was a good journalist who made a small mistake. I hired him, you know. He must be good.

Lord Hutton, Dozy Old Fart

I am [Cut for reasons of space. Ed.]

Rupert Murdoch, Media Baron

Lord Hutton? Great guy. Fantastic judgement. It's that BBC that wants seeing to. If I had my way...

Lord Hutton, BBC Director-General

I [That's enough of Lord Hutton. Ed.]

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