News Satire Spoof Parody Humour David Blunkett
25th July
Updated from time to time
Big Question

The Big Question: Is Boris Johnson the Messiah?

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Yes
No
Oh gosh...er...
This week saw the spoof MP for Henley-on-Thames and editor of the Spectator, Boris Johnson, keep out of the headlines entirely. In fact, observers of Mr Johnson say that nothing interesting has happened to him at all. DeadBrain asks: is Boris Johnson the Messiah?

Boris Johnson MP, Conservative
The what? Am I the Messiah?

Professor Robert Winston, Television Presenter
The arguments for Boris Johnson being the Messiah are numerous. In my forthcoming series of programmes on BBC One I will show you exactly how Boris is genetically similar to Jesus Christ and is almost certainly a direct descendent. We will, of course, begin in some wild and mysterious place, probably in Africa, with some children playing with their toys.

Boris Johnson MP, Confused
No, I... I... I think... er...

John Prescott MP, Deputy Prime Minister
Ha ha yeah right, Boris Johnson the Messiah? Ridiculous. He's a buffoon.

Boris Johnson MP, Befuddled
Oi! That's not very nice. I... I could well be the Messiah, John Prescott doesn't know that. He certainly isn't.

Paul Merton, Comedian
Boris Johnson the Messiah? (laughs) You know what, I think you're probably right. Yeah, Boris will save us all. Come on Boris, do us a miracle. How about turning fish into cheese?

Boris Johnson MP, Baffled
Well I don't think that's quite within my powers as a Member of Parliament, but I er... I'll certainly see what I can do.

Paul Merton, Comedian
But Boris, you're the Messiah. You can't let us all down. How about parting the English Channel? We could drive across to France and stock up on cheap booze.

Boris Johnson MP, Bewildered
Look, what exactly is all this business about me being the Messiah? I don't... I, er... is this some kind of trap for me to fall into? Because I...er...I'd really prefer not to.

Sara Cox, Radio One DJ
Boris Johnson?! Who's 'e then?!

Boris Johnson MP, Puzzled
I... well, I'm me. The MP for Henley-on-Thames, editor of the Spectator, columnist for all sorts of wonderful publications and a damn good chap, some might say.

Paul Merton, Comedian
Who, Boris? Who?

Boris Johnson MP, Messiah
Err...

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