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19th April
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After Saddam

One week on: Top 10 options for Saddam

One week after Saddam Hussein was found in a hole, DeadBrain examines the future options for the captured former Iraqi President.

1. Ask US President George W. Bush to step down and join him to stand trial for crimes against Iraqi people.

2. Pretend he is not himself and claim he may be hiding in Syria.

3. Refuse to stand trial for the crimes committed by all the other Saddam Husseins.

4. Contradict George W. Bush by owning up responsibility for 9/11 and thus reinforce the belief of 70% of Americans.

5. Become a US citizen and run against George W. Bush in 2004 elections as Americans are now crazy about presidents who kill people in Third World countries.

6. Become a Hollywood star and act in films like Terminator, Saddam - The Barbarian, True Lies, Collateral Damage, The Villain, etc.

7. Emulate John Major, George Bush Sr., James Baker and George Schultz by joining war profiteers like Carlyle, Halliburton, Bechtel, etc., as an advisor or as a board member.

8. Join Unocal and replace their former employee Hamid Karzai as President of Afghanistan, and rule the now lawless country with an iron fist.

9. Threaten to release details of how the US and West European countries helped him develop weapons of mass destruction (WMD).

10. Claim sovereign immunity like the former Chilean dictator and "Senator For Life" Augusto Pinochet, who was released by the UK Government under pressure from the US.

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